Thursday, December 29, 2011

About This Blog (about your butt)

Hello, and welcome!

If you hadn't guessed, this blog is a blog about butts. Hind-ends, asses, tooshies, tuchas, junk in the trunk, etc. Presuming you're reading this, you clearly have an interest in the matter. I don't doubt that you understand the subject. What I'd like to clarify in the blog's title, however, is not the word "Butt", so much as the "About" part.

This is not a porn blog.

This blog is for booty analysis. Anal-ysis, if you will. It's for exploring the properties of any given butt; what makes it tick, what it's after, what it likes and dislikes, what it thinks of the world and what it wishes the world would think of it. This blog is about the hopes and dreams of your butt--probably unknown to you, until now!

For those of you who are confused right now--which I'm guessing is most of you--consider the following photo I've stumbled upon somewhere in the vast expanses of the internet.

If this were any other blog, the photo's sole purpose would be to tantalize my viewers. The poor, neglected thing would never get a shot at expression, a chance to be understood.

Not so, here. Just look at that butt for a moment. Think about it--but not like that. Think with your heart.

This butt is crying for freedom. This butt is so close--so close!--to escaping the shackles of society, to feeling the wind between its cheeks, to taking a deep breath of the cool night air as it steals away in the night, far away from this oppressive place. "Let me GO!", it screams, so loud and profound, yet unheard in the bleak confines of what appears to be some mail-room themed patootie prison.

This is a courageous butt. This butt has attempted to shake off its needless coverings, to expose itself for what it really is--strong, courageous, and free-spirited. This butt demands you acknowledge it for the kind of butt it is.

And yet, like so many good butts, it can't quite make it. Those dreadful panties will doubtlessly prevail, assisted by the hand of its thoughtless overlord, a woman with no care for, or interest in, how her bottom feels.

This butt is a tragedy. This butt is abused.

And that, you see, is About this butt.

With any luck, you'll find the courage to let your butt be heard. With any luck, you'll participate in this courageous activity. Share your butt with the world. Learn About your butt.

With any luck, soon, you'll learn to appreciate it. You'll listen to your butt every day. With your heart.

For the courageous among you, for the pure of heart and bottom alike, submit your butt to for anal-ysis.